Ideas for Where to Throw a Baby Shower Party

If you’re in charge or part of the lucky group who is hosting a baby shower party for the expectant mom, you know that one of the most important decisions to make is where to hold the shower. This location will be determined by the date and time you choose to have the party, as well as the approximate number of guests you’re expecting to cater to.

Sometimes, your home may be most appropriate. However, if you live very far away from where the guests will be traveling from or are expecting more guests that you can host in your home, you’ll need other ideas for where to have it.

Perhaps there’s a well-known restaurant that will rent out a large room, and provide the menu for you, too. Churches and clubs usually have meeting or banquet rooms available, conference rooms in office buildings, cafeterias, and even clubhouses at a friend’s apartment community are great places to host a baby shower.

You need to ensure you’re reserving the place to have the baby shower far enough in advance. This needs to be completed prior to sending invitations – about 6 to 8 weeks before your proposed baby shower party date.

If you’re considering holding the party at your home, consider carefully if you really can accommodate everyone on the guest list. Yes, it’s common that not everyone will attend, but it’s best to plan on the maximum number attending as possible. There are always last minute RSVPs, and some may even bring their older children or other family members with them.

Take a look at your furniture and determine how it should be rearranged to accommodate everyone. Do you have enough parking room for everyone, too? Is your home located in a hard-to-find area? Do you have pets that the expectant mother or guests may be allergic to? Where will the mom sit and open her gifts in front of everyone?

You may also be able to hold the baby shower outside if the weather is expected to be agreeable. If you have a large and appealing yard, this may be the ideal option.

Now, if your home simply won’t accommodate the guests and an outdoor baby shower party is not possible, it’s time to start inquiring at local churches, restaurants and other clubhouses. Church locations and clubhouses will often offer full kitchens to prepare and serve food to the guests, and will most likely be less expensive than a restaurant.

These types of locations also need to be reserved very far ahead of time, as they book quickly. Also remember you may need to submit a cash deposit, and plan for cleaning up after the baby shower. Try recruiting friends and family to stay afterward to help, and plan on arriving the day prior or a couple of hours ahead of time to decorate the facility.

Some may even offer decoration rentals for an additional fee, so inquire about this possibility, too. In the long run, it may save money and prevent you from having an entire stock of baby shower decorations in your attic later on!

Host a Baby Shower for an Adopted Child

Couples looking to adopt a child are in the midst of one of the most exciting and rewarding times in their lives. An extensive amount of planning, preparation and even financial investment is necessary during the adoption process, which is typically very lengthy and tiresome.

After the completion of the legal adoption, some semblance of a normal life will resume; but of course, a special baby shower party is in order to help in welcoming the new addition to the family.

Baby showers for adopted children require some of the same timing requirements as those held for non-adopted children, but a few additional considerations should be accounted for.

If a shower is planned prior to the child’s arrival and the finalization of the adoption, there is always a risk of unforeseen delays, legal issues, and even the possibility of the entire prospect falling through. Thus, it may be more appropriate to plan a baby shower after the finalization of the process.

Of course, if the parents have no other children and this will be their first, there’s a whole host of supplies they’ll need to welcome a new infant or child into their home. This issue is always best determined by discussing it with the future parents. Use their preferences to plan the baby shower around a certain time and date, and remember to stay flexible on this – the fact that you have something to celebrate is the most important thing.

Many baby showers for adopted children, if conducted after finalization, will include the child in the celebration. This calls for ensuring every aspect of the shower is age-appropriate. For an older child, you may gear it as more of a birthday celebration where guests can bring gifts specifically for him or her.

Baby shower decorations, baby shower invites, the baby shower cake and even the games and activities to take place need to be customized for this purpose. Consider a baby shower theme or birthday geared specifically toward the child, such as a magician for entertainment, reserving a location known for catering to that age range, or having a party centered around a favorite character or hobby.

Also consider that asking guests to bring their own children will make a fun outing for the entire family, and allow the newly adopted child to begin socializing with new family and friends. Ask the parents for input on what types of gifts they would consider appropriate, or if there are specific items they would like to receive.

Outside of these considerations, all other standard rules apply when throwing this type of baby shower. Baby shower invites or ‘Welcome Party’ invitations should still be sent out 4 to 6 weeks ahead of time, and the location should be determined and reserved if necessary.

Menu planning, decorations, supplies and activities should all be planned, as well as transportation back home for the family that most likely will need to haul much more than they came with.

Baby Showers for Second, Third or Subsequent Children

When an expectant mother becomes pregnant after having a first child, there is some question as to whether to hold a baby shower for her. Typically, baby shower parties are thrown in the mother’s honor to ‘shower’ her with gifts to prepare for baby’s arrival. After having one or more children, many mothers may already have much of the needed furniture and related baby supplies required to care for baby properly.

There are some alternatives for baby showers for these subsequent pregnancies. The real purpose of a shower is to celebrate the impending or recent arrival of a new baby, and allows friends and family to gather and socialize.

One great idea is to de-emphasize gifts, or tell guests that they are not necessary. Unless the mother has a dire need for some of the basics, simply encourage everyone to gather and celebrate the growing family and good health of the mother and baby.

Another option may be to simply host a baby shower after the birth, and make the baby the center of attention. Everyone can come to see and hold the baby, and ask mother about how she’s holding up during her crazy schedule after birth.

You can even call the party something other than a baby shower. It may be an ‘It’s a Girl!’ party or ‘It’s a Boy!’ celebration. You could even send out birthday invitations to celebrate the baby’s ‘0’ birthday – this way, you’ll be able to include the baby’s name and stats measured at birth. Giving the baby his or her first birthday party prior to their first birthday will truly be unique!

Let guests know that gifts are optional, but if they want to bring something, it could be necessities like diapers, washcloths or bottles. Some guests may even bring personalized gifts with the birth date, full name, and length and weight at birth.

You may also focus on throwing a ‘Mommy Party’ or ‘Pamper Party’, and continue to focus on mom by encouraging gifts aimed solely at comforting and pampering her. Spa and beauty products, comfy loungewear, gift certificates and even home treatment tools are all wonderful accessories for mom to use to escape for just a little while.

The tone of one of these baby showers can be much more casual, organized as a simple afternoon get-together at the host’s home. Eating great food, socializing and seeing the new baby will be the focus of the party.

Guests can even bring everyday essentials to help mom and dad get along after the birth. These may include things like frozen dinner entrees for easy cooking, gift certificates for a ‘date night’ for mom and dad, or homemade certificates for a free night of babysitting or day of housecleaning.

If you’re wondering whether or not to host a baby shower for a second or third child, the answer is ‘Absolutely!’. Simply ask mom before the birth what type of party she would prefer, and go from there. You may also want to make this decision yourself if you know her personality well enough, and organize a surprise party in her and the baby’s honor for a special treat.

The Challenges Of Adoption For Parents

For most parents, adopting a child is the culmination of a dream as well as a long and painful process. Statistically, one percent of all the kids in the United States are adopted. Considering the number of kids, this percentage is quite large- running into millions. Luckily, most of the traditional views of adopting and raising kids have disappeared with the ages. However, doing so is still a mentally and physically exhausting paper process for parents who wish to adopt.

Sometimes parents who adopt end up becoming so tired, that they simply cannot cope. Psychologists who deal in adoption issues for parents and adopted kids report statements such as these from parents:

“We knew this child would be different from us. But sometimes it seems we don’t know him at all.” or even “Sometimes we just look at each other and ask what we got ourselves into?”

Most of the usual scenarios that occur with kids are more difficult in the case of adopted children. A distinct lack of knowledge about medical problems, bad experiences or even abuse at the hands of the previous foster parents causes the new parents to deal with problems that they were not aware of and are not sure they want to undertake.

Kids who suddenly discover that they have been adopted, especially from people other than their adoptive parents, may feel really devastated. They may experience feelings of inadequacy and may wonder if their adoptive parents really love them or not. Knowing the right time to inform your adopted kids about this poses a distinct challenge.

There are simply no one-size-fits-all solutions for solving adoption issues that can be realistic in any sense. It is up to the adoptive parents in such cases to look for solutions to such issues.

Parents who succeed in enduring through the painfully bureaucratic and expensive process of adoption should be proud of themselves for having persevered through all odds. Often, parents will find themselves wondering as to why they’re going through so much hassle, but those who keep the end in sight are entitled to be proud of finally getting their dream!

Having to cope with medical problems in a child is quite difficult, and most adoptive parents feel that they are unable to do so. It is fortunate for them that hereditary information helps with just one part of diagnosis. In fact, doctors treat unconscious patients who may be victims of accidents, emergency cases and many other patients who may not be able to inform the doctors of their history.

In the case of adopted children, emotional issues can pop up as commonly as with the parents’ biological kids. These issues are to be dealt with normally, and some measures need to be taken if there has been any form of child abuse at the hands of the previous parents.

As most adoptive parents can tell you, a very strong bond can form between the parents and the child in no time at all. This relationship strengthens over time, and lasts as long as the bond formed by the child who was biologically born to those parents. Formal studies have proved this.

What this implies is that relationships are formed by choice, as much as by biology. When the parents are chosen to adopt the child, they benefit in myriads of ways, as does the child.

Sometimes adoptive parents show their joy in having their adopted child by telling him or her that ‘you were chosen’. Parents must never do this, especially if they have biological kids too, who might end up feeling that they were not chosen. This can also give adopted children the idea that they are more superior to the biological children of the parents since they are adopted. Neither is a good idea.

In adoption relations, both parents and child benefit from the essence of family life that form strong bonds and have absolutely nothing to do with biological relations. It doesn’t matter if the child is adopted or not, however, for parents to obtain joy in the guiding and learning process. The emotional bonds between all family members are strong and special, and they rise above the initial period of adjustment into the family!

Of Parenting, Dealing With Grandparents and Other Dilemmas

There are many times when parenting can feel like you’re in middle management! You have to deal with a lot of matters concerning your kids, and your parents can simple add another set to them! Grandparents present another sphere of outside influence with your kids, which is all the more complicated because of their relationship with you as well as the kids.

So how can you, as a parent, maximize all the great issues that grandparents bring into the parenting mix while minimizing the possible difficulties?

Grandparents have one big advantage over you: They’ve been parents a lot longer than you have, and have a lot of experience in the art of parenting. Their advice is invaluable, but only when it’s given at the right time in the right manner.

Sometimes, grandparents need to be reminded of this. As a parent, you can tactfully ask them to hold on to their advice until you’re more receptive to it. If you’re disciplining your child, you don’t want any criticism of what you’re doing, because it tends to undermine your authority as a parent as well as brings about a negative and defensive reaction.

Most parents tend to ignore the advice of the grandparents if it’s given in a manner that is completely unsuitable to the situation. After cooling down, however, try to analyze the advice given objectively. You’ll realize that the advice given does have value. Try not to concentrate too much on the circumstances that prompted it.

Grandparents always dote a lot on their grandkids and want the best for them. This fondness should go hand in hand with objectivity. They must realize that the actual responsibility of disciplining and setting the rules falls on the parents. This helps to avoid any sort of conflicts.

Parents can help in this matter by understanding that grandparents will have different views, according to the way things were done in those years. Expressing these views could lead to conflicts, especially when they are diametrically opposed to the parents’ views.

However, there is no cause for conflict if a few basic rules governing the household are followed. Those such as diet and bedtime need to be respected, because they have an effect on good health. On the other hand, grandparents want to lavish their attention and love on their grandkids by offering them more materially and independence-wise than parents are comfortable with.

In this case, a bit of creativity on both sides can lead to a good compromise. For example, buying a $500 chemistry set for a grandchild’s birthday may strike most parents as an extravagant gesture. But you can easily sort the difference by alternating trips to the zoo and aquarium!

Most negotiators will tell you to look for common ground rather than arguing all the time. When it comes to the child, the interests of the child are always put first by both parties! This forms the common ground, and both parents and grandparents share.

It’s easier to end disputes amicably if both the parents and grandparents effectively talk about their views taking into account the facts of the situation. So when you amalgamate this objective attitude with respect of individual values, you’ll definitely come up with a winner!

Of Parenting, And Natural And Logical Consequences Of Living!

One of the toughest dilemmas for any parent is realizing when you need to have your child obey you and when you have to let your child make independent choices for which they are liable. In this process, parents could do with some aid. This is achieved using the twins: logical and natural consequences.

Natural consequences are the real-life effects of the choices that a child makes. For example, if the child touches a hot stove, he or she will get burnt. This is a perfect example of a natural consequence, where the child fast realizes the link between a badly-chosen act and its outcome.

On the other hand, cause and effect relationships can be taught to the child in a much safer environment. In this scenario, the little one will promise sincerely to save his allowance to purchase a bicycle. However, he might get caught out by temptation and buy some easily broken toys with the money, and still be anticipating the bicycle.

In such cases, the parent ought to do nothing about the situation. This will help the child to realize the cause and effect relationship linking choice and consequence. The benefit of this technique is that it teaches a child both sides of the coin. When the kid makes a good choice, the reward is good. If not, then no reward. Thus, doing this shows them that they are responsible for their own actions and builds good values in them. These two acts of achieving something and doing it independently strengthen each other is a positive feedback loop.

However, there are many scenarios which a parent won’t attempt to use to teach their kids the value of good decision-making. Here, logical consequences would apply, instead. An example of this is a busy road. No parent will allow their child to run out on the road to observe for themselves the consequence on not looking in both directions before crossing!

Logical consequences need the parent’s involvement in showing outcomes. Basically, the parent clearly defines the choice made by the child is logically linked to the choice of the parent. Not returning a video at the right time will lead to payment of a late fee. Removing this money from the allowance of the child is a logically related consequence, since it is openly linked to the little one’s failure to keep the commitment.

Some consequences of actions are very severe. A natural consequence of a young teenage girl have unprotected sex with her teen boyfriend may be pregnancy. Using the logical consequence to educate about the possible scenarios can prevent this situation, hence reducing risk.

The parents can work to make these logical consequences sound as varied and genuine as possible. One of the choices would be to break up the two, and yet, this is an approach that works very rarely. On the other hand, using supervision and restriction of certain activities such as going to the mall or the movies may work to some degree. There is no one solution, since most teens are different, with different mind-sets. Using a logically related consequence works much better, in any case, compares to only punishment for the deed.

Sometimes, it’s safe to let a child or even teen to get the experience of suffering through the consequences of bad actions. In other cases, this is not advisable, since the consequences could be serious and far-reaching. Making the choice between these two is always a difficult decision for many parents. In this case, it’s best to let your experience do the talking!

Of Fatherhood And Children

There are only a few things that have evolved as drastically in the last century as the portrayal of the father’s role in the child’s life.

In the Victorian era, a father was someone who was rarely seen by the kids but considered to be the law-giver! Then, with the theories of Freud, the non-important fatherhood became the biggest factor of parenthood. This theory was then replaced by the one in the fifties where the father was considered to be primarily the ‘breadwinner’. In the sixties, with the social revolution and women’s lib, the main role of the male in the family was the sperm donor! And now, there are a myriad of roles and requirements of fathers, most of which are quite distinct in nature!

To realize the proper role of the father, an evaluation must be undertaken which gives answers to the following questions: ‘What are fathers for?’, ‘What is the effect of a father’s absence or presence?’ and more importantly, ‘What is the actual influence exerted by a father on his kids?’ These questions are very complex, but need to be answered to figure out the real role of a father is the life of a child.

Most statistical studies show one common factor: kids who grow up without a father show a higher occurrence of bad outcomes, such as poor performance in school, juvenile records, drug use, propensity for violence and even heavy criminal activities.

Concluding from these studies, fathers do have a major effect on the lives of children.

One of the major signs is the lack of economic resources in households without a father. Then, the emotional, psychological and moral factors come into the picture. After taking a look at all the factors that feature in these studies, it becomes obvious that the presence or absence of fathers does have a big effect in the life of the child! When it comes to getting the best start in life, fathers become the biggest features.

Being a father is not enough, one has to be a good father. There are many issues involved in fatherhood, and bringing in the bread is just one of these. There is one role that fathers should excel at, whether they are in a single parent family or in a two-parent: that of guidance. Female children look at the father as the parent who protects them, as well as lends a different point of view from the mother. And males mimic their role models, in this case their fathers, to the point where their own character is molded upon that of the father.

In a two-parent, dual-gender home, the interaction of the father with the mother shows the kids how things are done. Fathers help their kids make decisions, and understand the consequences of the decisions too.

Usually, kids tend to gain an insight into the ‘normal’ parental roles when they view how their dad acts in matters pertaining to the household. Does the father rule over every aspect in a dominant way? Does he hold a discussion with the mother and include her input? Or does he defer to the mother in some cases and make his own decisions in others? This helps the children understand the wide variety of responses in interactions among the two sexes.

Apart from joint decision-making, fathers also tend to impress their own views of the world on their children, albeit unconsciously. This makes kids wiser as they learn how to form correct judgments of all that matters in today’s world.

Fathers show varied approaches in solving problems. Whereas one takes a sensible, matter-of-fact route, the other can choose to be very confident and shows a sense of excitement at the success of his method. Yet another can simply bemoan all the problems in life and use a hostile, fear-filled approach to problem solving.

Kids see their fathers in many different settings. And what they see influences their views of life more than anything that is taught, said or lectured. After all, seeing the real thing happening is worth a lot more than a thousand words!

Nurturing Your Child’s Independence as a Parent

One of the basic facts of life is that babies eventually grow into children who grow into adults. While children grow older, there’s no guarantee that they’ll grow up. This is because for children to learn about the consequences of their actions and have a happy and healthy life, they need to be independent to a large degree.

When we talk of independence here, we don’t mean that the child should not be dependant on his parents or even that he must create the value that he needs in life- emotional, physical and emotional- without help from his parents and other adults. After all, a life alone is no joke. Independence here means having the freedom to do one’s own thinking without interruption and choosing from many alternatives, without any external interference and opinions.

Why is this important?

Life gives everyone choices, most of which can be very difficult and unpleasant. And when it comes to them, we all have two basic options- either to do the thinking ourselves and do what feels right to us or to passively pass on the decision to another person and do as they say.

However, one cannot do this throughout their life. This is why parenting must include teaching your child to think right and make the right decisions. Parents should help them practice this art of knowing how to determine what is good for them, and what is not. After all, you can’t be an athlete by looking at others running, you have to go out there and start running for yourself!

In some cases, you would have done better to take the advice of more experienced and wise folks, such as parents, there’s no doubt about that. But then, this ease would come at the cost of experience. After all, one cannot rely on having good advisors throughout life! So parenting must involve encouraging the children to think for themselves so that they can become happy, well-adjusted adults.

Everybody uses advice when they have to make important decisions at any age in life. However there are points in life where what you decide could lead to a turning point in the way your life will go. In this case, if one hasn’t had the practice of making their own decision, then they’re likely to face a hard time. Performance in good decision-making depends on whether, like the athlete, you’ve trained hard or stayed on the sidelines.

You will make mistakes if you do your own thinking, rather than listen to those who are experienced and more knowledgeable than you. This is completely true. And yet, this process starts you on a course where you learn your own limitations, making you more experienced and deliberative. After all, knowing what you do in hindsight, it’s easier to correct your own mistakes. And failing after following your own decision ultimately holds lesser regret than failing through following blindly.

Many parents do not want to see their kids make mistakes, especially when their own experience and insight tells them that the decisions are wrong and will have bad consequences. This desire to always coddle your child is something no parent grows out of, and leads to frustration, especially when you’re handling teens. This is why parenting is not an easy task, and requires a lot of courage! You’ll have to grin and bear it, if your child is to have a healthy emotional and mental development.

Kids grow up very fast, and will soon be under pressure of making weighty decisions that determine how their lives will go. It is your duty as a parent to ensure that they are prepared for this, by encouraging them to start right form childhood. After all, practice does make perfect!