The Challenges Of Adoption For Parents

July 13, 2009 by  
Filed under Parenting

For most parents, adopting a child is the culmination of a dream as well as a long and painful process. Statistically, one percent of all the kids in the United States are adopted. Considering the number of kids, this percentage is quite large- running into millions. Luckily, most of the traditional views of adopting and raising kids have disappeared with the ages. However, doing so is still a mentally and physically exhausting paper process for parents who wish to adopt.

Sometimes parents who adopt end up becoming so tired, that they simply cannot cope. Psychologists who deal in adoption issues for parents and adopted kids report statements such as these from parents:

“We knew this child would be different from us. But sometimes it seems we don’t know him at all.” or even “Sometimes we just look at each other and ask what we got ourselves into?”

Most of the usual scenarios that occur with kids are more difficult in the case of adopted children. A distinct lack of knowledge about medical problems, bad experiences or even abuse at the hands of the previous foster parents causes the new parents to deal with problems that they were not aware of and are not sure they want to undertake.

Kids who suddenly discover that they have been adopted, especially from people other than their adoptive parents, may feel really devastated. They may experience feelings of inadequacy and may wonder if their adoptive parents really love them or not. Knowing the right time to inform your adopted kids about this poses a distinct challenge.

There are simply no one-size-fits-all solutions for solving adoption issues that can be realistic in any sense. It is up to the adoptive parents in such cases to look for solutions to such issues.

Parents who succeed in enduring through the painfully bureaucratic and expensive process of adoption should be proud of themselves for having persevered through all odds. Often, parents will find themselves wondering as to why they’re going through so much hassle, but those who keep the end in sight are entitled to be proud of finally getting their dream!

Having to cope with medical problems in a child is quite difficult, and most adoptive parents feel that they are unable to do so. It is fortunate for them that hereditary information helps with just one part of diagnosis. In fact, doctors treat unconscious patients who may be victims of accidents, emergency cases and many other patients who may not be able to inform the doctors of their history.

In the case of adopted children, emotional issues can pop up as commonly as with the parents’ biological kids. These issues are to be dealt with normally, and some measures need to be taken if there has been any form of child abuse at the hands of the previous parents.

As most adoptive parents can tell you, a very strong bond can form between the parents and the child in no time at all. This relationship strengthens over time, and lasts as long as the bond formed by the child who was biologically born to those parents. Formal studies have proved this.

What this implies is that relationships are formed by choice, as much as by biology. When the parents are chosen to adopt the child, they benefit in myriads of ways, as does the child.

Sometimes adoptive parents show their joy in having their adopted child by telling him or her that ‘you were chosen’. Parents must never do this, especially if they have biological kids too, who might end up feeling that they were not chosen. This can also give adopted children the idea that they are more superior to the biological children of the parents since they are adopted. Neither is a good idea.

In adoption relations, both parents and child benefit from the essence of family life that form strong bonds and have absolutely nothing to do with biological relations. It doesn’t matter if the child is adopted or not, however, for parents to obtain joy in the guiding and learning process. The emotional bonds between all family members are strong and special, and they rise above the initial period of adjustment into the family!