How Divorce Can Affect Your Child

There are few things in life that traumatize a family more than divorce. Every family member will find themselves having angry, uncertain and confused feelings about the whole process. Betrayal is also a common emotion.

After a divorce, there are many changes that will affect the lives of both the parents as well as the children. When the parents separate, they have to decide on where the kids will live, as well as how they will manage on smaller individual incomes. Usually, it becomes like a single-parent family, with one parent taking responsibility for work and home. At a time when emotions and feelings are ruling the heart, dealing with everyday issues can become a big problem.

Although divorce is rough, there are a few ways that you can make it easier on your children. Parents who are in the midst of divorce will understandably be angry with one another, and they are allowed to express this anger without having it control them to the point where it’s the kids who suffer the most.

Most kids whose parents get divorced feel that they are somehow responsible for it happening. This misunderstanding must be sorted out with the kids immediately, in age-appropriate words and gestures. Also, no matter how one spouse feels towards the other, there is no excuse to use your kids as bargaining chips or as tools of getting revenge.

Many issues will arise, and disagreements over them form the norm in divorcing households: money, child custody, housing and so on. These have to be handled when the kids are out of the house or at school. If the kids are old enough, ask for their input. They’ll feel more in control of the situation in this manner. Most will say that they don’t want the divorce. Faced with no other solution, kids can be remarkably realistic when it comes to what they want, though.

Allow your kids to express their feelings, even if those feelings cannot be worked upon. This will make them feel that their parents do understand them, as well as help them gain a form of control in an unstable environment. So by allowing them a chance to organize things the way they want in their new lives, you’re proving to them that their feelings are important to you.

Kids often feel that if they do things differently, their parents will stay together. You have to gently but firmly squash this notion.

Once the new living arrangements are done and the custody issues are sorted for the moment, the parents will need to make certain that everything the little ones require is there for them at each of the locations of the spouses. Some sentimental objects can help them feel at home wherever they are.

It is also important that you give your child space to express his or her feelings of anger, reproach, disappointment and hostility towards you without restricting these emotions. Such emotions tend to last for only a while, as children are remarkably resilient. Telling them that they ‘don’t really mean that’ isn’t helpful for now, because the truth is, they do.

Single parenting is full of new challenges that need to be overcome by the parent who has custody of the kids at the moment. However, the lack of angry vibes, loud arguments and recriminating silences in the house does a lot of good to the kids. A semblance of normality returns, and the parent in charge can take control by forming new rules and regulations for the kids without any of the anger and bitter debates.

The cases of divorce have been increasing from the seventies, and most of these divorces happen in families with children, Good parenting is where the adults involved in the divorce sit down and civilly talk about the best way to handle the whole affair in the best interests of the kids. This way, the children will not suffer life-long pain and bitter emotions of this phase of their life.

As good parents, this must be your number one aim!

It’s Time For Your Child To Start School!

Little children who have already been to preschool will find school less daunting than those who have never been to preschool. In any case, school is quite different form preschool. Combined with this is the sad fact that most public schools aren’t geared to provide the ideal education to your child through factors such as the lack of funding, bureaucratic problems, unhealthy philosophies of teaching and other external factors.

Whether your child is joining a public school or a private one, there are plenty of things you’ll need to get done in time for the start of school. A lot of children, as well as their parents, tend to feel some separation anxiety. While you don’t have to hold a ‘stiff upper lip’, you also don’t have to make it sound like the end of the world. Kids pick up vibes easily, so you really shouldn’t be stressing them anymore than they already are.

If you tell them honestly that this new experience will be quite difficult but they have to be brave, they’ll thank you forever. Children should be shown that the new environment isn’t a threat to them, taking into account all their concerns.

It really helps kids when they meet the new teacher beforehand, in the presence of the parents. This enables them to know the one person who will be in charge of their development, as well as understand that their parents like the teacher. Generally, schools do have some events for these introductions. However, don’t expect the session to last long, since the teacher will have to meet many other parent-child groups too.

Explaining to the kids that schools are fun and exciting, and that they’ll be grown up if they attend will do the trick. Show them your own pictures as a child going to school and you’ll have your kids wanting to do the same! Children are, by nature, curious creatures! Try to make it seem that school is just like the home learning process. This will increase your child’s confidence and they’ll want to go to school to learn and explore new things.

Most schools give the kids some homework a few days after they’ve begun. This can lead to anxiety on the part of the child. It is up to you to relieve this anxiety by giving your child a home version of homework before school starts to help them prepare for it! This will build confidence, especially when you as a parent show your child that you’re willing to help them get started!

Try not to give your child too much comfort! Allow your child to experience the difficulties and try to overcome them by themselves. This will lead to an increase in the self-confidence of the child. If you try to help all the time, you’re going to do more harm than good. This will create insecurity in the children, who will feel that they cannot get anything done by themselves.

Showing more parental concern than usual may imply to the child that there is something to be feared in school, which is completely not the idea that parents want their kids to have.

At the basic level, all aspects of human development need some type of challenge to build strength. This is true for both physical and mental development. And when the child rises to these challenges, given the nature of the child, his or her improvement, confidence and intellect growth will have no bounds!

Valuable Tips in Choosing a Child Car Seat

All parents agree that keeping their newborn safe and protected is the number one goal. While there are many ways of accomplishing this, choosing the right child car seat is without doubt one of the more important decisions. There are many options on the market so to make the process less complicated we have provided some valuable tips.

For one thing, you need to look at the age and weight of the child. It is important to understand that any child one year or younger should always be securely placed in a car seat that is made for the age, size, and weight of the child. Additionally, anytime the car seat is used, it should always be in the back seat and facing toward the back, never the front.

If your child is between the ages of one and four, the average weight would be anywhere from 20 to 40 pounds so keep this in mind. Height would also be important: obviously a child at four would be taller than that of a child at age two in most instances. The older the child is the more options you will have for placement of the car seat. For instance, once a child is older, he or she may be able to have the car seat facing forward although still in the back seat.

Parents often worry about being inconvenienced in needing to buy different car seats. However, there are new models on the market, some that are specially designed to convert from a rear facing to forward facing seat. Of course, the child’s age, height, and weight would still be considered.

One thing we wanted to address is the ongoing confusion between a child’s seat and a child’s car seat. This might sound simple but for new parents, things like this can be confusing. Simply put, a child’s seat is a carrier in which the baby is placed and carried around whereas a car seat is an actual seat used whenever the baby is in the car.

Interestingly, manufacturers have come up with innovative designs that now allow a car seat to be strapped securely into a car seat. As you can imagine, this offers convenience for the parent while still keeping the child safe.

Just remember that any seat used in a car has to meet strict legal standards. The best option is what they call a five-point harness attachment. With this, you would be able to secure your child in five different places to include hips, shoulders, and legs. This type of car seat is comfortable but it also adds a higher level of protection.

You might also consider choosing a car seat with an overhead shield, which is a padded cover that can easily be rotated over the baby. Another type of system similar to this is the T-Shield, which is a padded design that attaches to the shoulder straps.

We strongly suggest you consider car seats with a tether on top. With this design, the tether attached from the top portion of the car seat to an anchor point. As a result, the child is secured even more. The best design has a LATCH system; otherwise known as the Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children model. With this, no car seat belts are needed but the child is very secure. Although the tether system is not available in all cars, if your car was made any time after September 2002, then the tether system is in place.

Of course, having the right car seat is not only safer and comfortable for the child but also far more convenient for the parent.

Since every child is built differently, it is imperative that you work with a professional when choosing a car seat so you get the exact seat that will work best for your child.

When buying, look for a car seat that will keep your child safe and secure, but also one that gives you a little extra room for blankets. This way, when you make a trip across town, or to visit relatives your baby is more comfortable. You will even find that some of the newer car seat designs come with a ravel vest that simply buckles in around the child for the ultimate in comfort.

You want a car seat that is easy to insert the straps and make any necessary adjustments. It can be a challenge to go through the routine of securing a child in a car seat but never give in to shortcuts. The new car seat designs being sold are made so the child is perfectly safe but also so the child can be strapped in quickly, making it easier for the parent.

Taking Proper Care of the Umbilical Cord

Once your baby is born, nature will take care of many things to include healing of the umbilical cord. While pregnant, the umbilical cord plays a vital role by supplying the fetus with nutrients needed for growth and development. Immediately after delivery, the umbilical cord is clamped of, cut, and then tied off. Your newborn does not feel anything since the nerve fibers in the cord cannot feel pain.

Things you should do in caring for the umbilical cord.

Most often, an umbilical cord will change color once the baby is delivered. Sometimes, the cord will have a green color, sometimes black or brown, and other times, bluish. These different colors are perfectly normal during the first week or two until the cord will eventually dry up and fall off.

The good news is that all you need to do during this timeframe is keep the area around the umbilical cord clean and protected so nothing bumps or touches it.

Keep in mind that the skin around the umbilical cord is sensitive, meaning only slight pressure can make your baby feel pain. Although newborns always have sensitive skin, this area is extremely delicate. You do not need to do anything special, just be a little extra gentle when changing diapers and clothing.

The goal in keeping the umbilical cord clean is that you do not want your baby getting an infection. Remember, for both adults and children, the skin is a protective barrier, keeping viruses, fungi, bacteria, and a variety of organisms out so the immune system is not attacked.

The only difference between an adult and a child is that the baby’s skin is still being developed within the first year of life. Therefore, your newborn does not have the same degree of antibodies needed to battle germs. Keeping the umbilical cord area clean and dry is the best line of defense against infection.

Typically, you would never need to use alcohol or hydrogen peroxide to clean the umbilical cord area and in fact, most doctors highly discourage this in that it can cause the skin to dry out and the alcohol might be painful to the baby. The cord will fall off on its own when it is ready to there is no need to try to speed up the process.

Remember that even newborns get dirty. They spit up, urinate and have bowel movements, and so on but for umbilical cord care, all you need is a soft, clean and moist cloth. Once you have wiped the area around the cord clean, you can pat it dry or let it air dry for a minute.

If you notice any dried blood or pus that needs more than a gentle wiping with a moist cloth, you can use antibacterial soap and a moistened cotton ball or swab. The only recommendation we have is that when choosing the cloth, choose all cotton, which is soft.

You might find that the umbilical cords become a little wetter than anticipated. In this case, simply leave the baby’s diaper and clothing off so the area can get air or if needed, use a blow dryer with the heat on cool.

One of the most important things when it comes to caring for a baby’s umbilical cord is to position clothing and diapers so they are not touching. If the cord is bent, it can cause discomfort to the baby and it will likely take longer to heal. We also recommend that you change your baby’s diapers more often so moisture levels are reduced, thus less chance of infection.

Additionally, to bathe your baby during the cord healing phase, you should only give a sponge bath, not an actual bath. If the baby were to accidentally get wet, do not panic. All you need to do is use cotton swabs to soak up as much of the moisture possible and then allow the area to air dry or use the hair dryer.

Often, parents will try to hurry the process of the umbilical cord healing by removing small pieces of dead skin but do not give into temptation. This is not only painful to the baby, but it also increases risk of infection and skin tearing.

Reasons Breastfeeding is so Beneficial

During the time a fetus spends in the womb, he/she receives all then nutrients needed via the mother’s umbilical cord, which includes various compounds that help develop a strong immune system. Although the baby’s immune system is relative strong at birth, it is not yet to the point where it can offer full protection. Nature takes care of this in the form of breast milk, which is rich in a substance called colostrum.

For about two days, the mother’s breast will fill with colostrum so as the baby suckles, he or she is getting a ton of nutrients. The compounds found in breast milk offer many benefits to include finishing the development of the baby’s immune system. The colostrum has a yellowish coloring, expressed through the nipple. Loaded with carbohydrates, fats, white blood cells, and other nutrients, the baby is getting everything needed for a strong start in life.

One of the most important antibodies that breast milk contains is immunoglobulins, as well as proteins. The reason the antibodies are important is that they help the baby fight off bacteria, viruses, fungi, and a variety of organisms that could lead to disease. However, breast milk antibodies also work by coating the gastrointestinal tract so any bacteria existing within the baby’s stomach will not be able to reach the bloodstream. Additionally, small cells called macrophages exist in breast milk, which encapsulates and washes out germs known to cause illness.

As you can see, breast milk is a single solution that provides the newborn with all the nutrients needed to further develop.

Interestingly, while most adults watch the foods they eat to avoid as many fats as possible, for newborn babies, fats are actually essential to the growth of the nervous system and regulation of the hormonal system.

Breast milk also contains carbohydrates as mentioned, which is vital for energy. Typically, adults trying to keep weight off will stay away from carbohydrates but in newborns, they get the perfect balance of carbohydrates.

Over the years, many studies have been conducted specific to breast milk and all agree that nature’s solution is the best solution. For this reason, most doctors will encourage soon-to-be mothers to consider breastfeeding. Of course, some have difficulty with breastfeeding, which is where quality formula comes into play. However, what studies show is that for newborns that started life on breast milk, there is a significant decrease of infectious diseases. Even infant diabetes is dramatically reduced and breastfed babies tend to have fewer doctor visits.

While breastfeeding is highly beneficial to the baby, it also has benefits to the mother.

Whether a woman plans to breastfeed or not, her breasts will go through the process of preparing for birth and the feeding of the newborn. Therefore, if a woman cannot or chooses not to breastfeed, she is still going to have swollen, tender breasts. Usually, the woman will need to express the milk and then placed on medication to stop milk production. For women who breastfeed, pumping milk is a great way to store milk used while the parents are out and the baby is with the grandparents.

One of the greatest benefits is that nursing a newborn offers mother and baby special bonding time. This is an opportunity to cuddle and experience quiet time alone.

One of the newest discoveries is that women that breastfeed are at lower risk for breast and ovarian cancer. Additionally, after giving birth, the body’s return to a menstrual cycle and ovulation is delayed when breastfeeding. Having a baby is hard work so not having to deal with a menstrual cycle for a while is helpful. Keep in mind, if there is no menstrual cycle, the chance of getting pregnant lowers but breastfeeding with a period does not protect a woman from pregnancy.

If you want to give your baby the best start in life, we strongly suggest you consider breastfeeding. Not only will your newborn benefit, you will too. Nature has put everything the baby needs in one place. Breast milk is convenient, always ready to feed, and it is always at the perfect temperature.

Overcoming the Problem of Diaper Rash

It is common for babies to get diaper rash, especially during the first two years of life while wearing diapers. Some babies will only get a mild case while others get a severe case. Not only is the genital area affected, some babies will also experience redness, swelling, and pain on the legs and buttocks. In fact, many babies will have skin warm to the touch from the irritation.

Keep in mind that while diaper wearing is one cause, a baby can get this type of rash from anything irritating the skin. After all, babies have very delicate and sensitive skin.

Dirty diapers, whether dirtied or wet are notorious for causing diaper rash. While pure urine is not an infectious liquid, it does mix with various organisms and thus, the rash. For feces, bacteria are common so if a baby has a dirty diaper for any extended length of time, diaper rash would again be likely.

Although there are different forms of bacteria that could be a problem for diaper rash, one in particular causes the most issue, yeast. Yeast is a fungus that grows any place that is warm and moist such as a wet diaper. Of course, the diaper does not have to be wet for yeast to grow. All it needs is a place with high humidity and in the case of babies it grows in the folds of the skin where moisture is common.

However, diaper rash can be the result of other things.

For example, if you have recently changed your baby’s diet, he or she may have more bowel movements, which increases the risk of irritation. Even using new laundry soap can be a culprit. Just as adults have sensitivity to certain things, so do babies so if you have recently started laundering his or her diapers and clothing in a new soap or you are using a different fabric softener and you notice diaper rash, this might be the problem.

By nature, some babies tend to be sensitive to things in general. For instance, if your baby’s diaper is too tight, chaffing could develop.

Although you could spend a lot of money buying high priced products from the drug store, you will be amazed at how many home remedies actually work better for getting rid of diaper rash.

We suggest you start by washing off your baby using mild soap and water, followed by drying the skin completely. Additionally, change the baby’s diapers more often. Then during every change, use a clean, warm washcloth to wipe off the genital area to get rid of any leftover feces or urine, dry, and diaper.

One thing you never want to do even if you have been advised to is use alcohol on your baby’s skin. This is very strong and it can lead to irritation and dryness. Instead, after washing your baby after diapering, use a clean, soft cloth to dry or allow your baby to air dry for a few minutes.

If you have a baby that is prone to diaper rash breakouts, we also recommend that you look at the type of diapers being used. In this case, you want to stay away from diapers with elastic bands around the legs or waist and for toddlers, training or outer pants with elastic as this will not allow any ventilation and the tightness causes chaffing.

If necessary, you can talk to your doctor or the pharmacist about buying an antifungal cream. Most of these ointments can be purchased over the counter but your doctor may want to call in a prescription, which is probably stronger. Of course, any concerns about diaper rash should be discussed with the pediatrician.

The good news is that you can control diaper rash, getting rid of it completely within a day or two with proper care. However, if the diaper rash disappears but returns quickly, talk to your doctor. Then, if you notice any seepage or pus, contact the doctor immediately to get the infection under control.

Making Travel Time with a Newborn Easier

Having a baby is hard work so after arriving home, most parents are spent. Before you know it, the time will come when grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends want to see the newest member f the family, which means taking a road or air trip. Of course, you will also be loading up the newborn into the car as you make trips to the pediatrician, to the store for diapers, and so on. Most doctors will recommend that new parents not travel with a baby three months or less but when you get to the point of traveling, we feel these tips will make the process easier and more enjoyable.

Typically, new parents start planning for a trip with a new baby and soon realize this is a major ordeal. You would think gathering a few items would not be difficult but it is always more involved. We want to offer encouragement that regardless of the type of travel you take, car, air, bus, or train; you can make choices that take some of the load off.

As you begin packing, you will obviously pack things such as diapers, bottled, pacifier, and other necessities but other supplies should be taken on your trip. For instance, if your baby is starting to teeth, be sure you pack a gel teething ring, as well as pain relief ointment that can be rubbed on the gums. Aspirin, petroleum jelly, lotion, and even sunscreen will come in handy.

Of course, you want to make sure you take both cool and warm clothing items. This way, no matter the climate, you can dress your baby in layers. After all, you may be heading to a destination where the weather is predicted to be warm, only to arrive finding that a cool front came through. Another consideration is that while you might keep your home at 75 degrees, the home where you are heading may prefer 68, a big difference for a little baby.

Now, you can travel by air but if your baby is still very young, we recommend that you talk to the doctor first. Most pediatricians feel that a child should be a minimum of one year old before flying. The reason is that the air is recycled so there are a lot of germs, the pressurized cabin while taking off and landing can cause earaches, and overall, babies do not do well on planes when little. Another obstacle specific to flying would be for mothers that breastfeed in that finding a private place is difficult.

Typically, new parents will choose to travel by car. In this case, just make sure that you have the proper car seat so you know your child is 100% safe. The car seat should always be positioned in the back seat, facing backwards. If you like, one parent can sit in the back seat with the baby. The reason this is so important is that if a child is in the front seat facing forward and the airbag were to deploy, it could cause serious harm or even death.

You also want to make sure that you bring snacks and beverages on the trip for the baby and adults. If your baby is three months or older, he or she is going to get hungry often and trying to explain that you will feed the baby soon means nothing. For this, make sure you have formula prepared and it might be worth the investment to buy a bottle warmer that has a cigarette lighter adapter. If you breastfeed, then the bottle issue is resolved.

Changing diapers while driving down the road is a little trickier. We strong recommend that you never change the diaper while in motion but find a rest stop where you can lay out a portable changing pad. Be sure to take a plastic trash bag where dirty diapers can be placed as you travel, you do not have to deal with the smell.

One important note is that children are susceptible to germs because they do not have a strong immune system so you want to make sure they are not overly exposed to strangers and strange places. You know that every person you visit is going to want to hold and kiss on your baby but never be afraid to tell them to wash hands so fewer germs are being exposed.

You will likely be faced with various obstacles as you travel with your new baby but look at this as an adventure, a new experience to enjoy.